Firsts

I think one of the hardest things about losing a parent is all the firsts a person has to go through.  For me there have been many.  First deer season without Dad.  First time my car broke down and I couldn't call for help.  First time the plumbing broke down and I couldn't call for help.  First birthday without him.  First Christmas without him.  First time his birthday came around.  First fishing season.  First birthday.  First anniversary of our last hunt together.  First anniversary of his death.

Lots of firsts.  To tell you the truth, I had hoped the one year anniversary of Dad's death would help me put the pain behind.  Didn't happen.  I didn't really stop hurting until somewhere around the second anniversary of his death.  Then the pain just wasn't there daily.  Maybe just every other day.

Well today is Memorial Day, roughly 2 and 1/2 years after Dad has passed.  For some reason FX has decided to broadcast Frequency, one of the movies that we all used to watch together.  Well, count tonight as another first--the first time I have watched this movie without Dad around.

The plot behind the story makes it even tougher to watch: a dad dies too young and his boy finds a way to communicate with him through a ham radio and a strange frequency that connects 1969 to 1999.  Through the course of the movie the two talk catch up and even find a way to prevent the father's death so that they can grow old together.

If only.