What's in a Name?

Fantasy football season is here!  As anyone who has ever “played” this great game knows, it’s not about how strong a team you draft, or about the in-season moves you make, or whether or not you hoist the trophy at season’s end.  The most important part of fantasy football is the team name!

The team name is your theme.  It’s what your team is known for.  It’s more than a moniker.  It’s a lifestyle.  A way of being.  It’s iconic. It’s John Cusack’s boombox over his head playing “In Your Eyes” for Diane Court. Yeah, it’s that important.

I put a lot of thought into my team name each year.  I take the top 8 best team names I can conjure, place them into a bracket, and then whittle it down until the best one comes out on top.  There are three different categories of team names when considering what effect you are going for: pride, funny, and just plain questionable.  

First, let’s start with questionable.  Every year players throw out a name that makes the others in the league scratch their head.  (This is what I am normally guilty of. The year I won league, my team name was Bullseyes, because everybody had their best game against me.  Nobody got it. Yep, questionable.)  Take this year’s entrant: Electric Mud.  There’s gotta be a story, right?  Brad is employing some kind of pun, right?  Is it a play off of Debbie Gibson’s 1989 album “Electric Youth”?  Does he still have an infatuation with the greatest female teen idol of all time? 

 

All I know is that without some semblance of explanation, “Electric Mud” is questionable, maybe even brilliant, much like my last-place finish last year with Dalvin and the Chipmunks.  Just like the game of Hearts, it takes brilliance to finish dead last. Who knew Dalvin Cook was going to suck that bad?

Next, let’s talk about serious names.  My team name for years was Steel Curtain, in honor of the great 1970’s Pittsburgh Steelers defenses that dominated the NFL.  I still get emotional thinking about Mean Joe Greene giving that kid a Coke.  Steel Curtain represented more than a team name.  It was an attitude of toughness to which I expected my players to rise. One of the guys in our league has the team name Thunder Hogs.  It makes sense, since he is a huge Arkansas Razorbacks fan.  Obviously he’s throwing some love at his alma mater.  Respect.

 

Finally, there’s the best category, funny.  This could include movie titles, fads, or my favorite, puns.  Let’s start with movie titles.  One of our players’ team is named The Goonies.  Great movie, shows a slightly whimsical side.  This is a great team name. One of our guys years ago had the team name The High Plains Drifters.  Great Clint Eastwood flick! 

That’s doing it right.  There are fads as well, like Kelly’s team “Blu Blockers” like what the sombrero-wearing LA based rapper Dr. Geek and a few others way back in the late ‘80s and ‘90’s wore.  Blu Blockers. That’s an awesome name.  

 

Last year Kelly took a shot at Kevin Durant with his Durant’s Cupcakes.  Love it!

I saved the best for last: puns.  Kirk’s team name this year is Where the Cleats Have No Name, which is a play off the famous song “Where the Streets Have No Name” by U2.  Some of his past names include Sparkling Apple Spiders and Lizards of Oz.  Even though he wins the league more often than not, with names like these, he doesn’t have to worry about wins and losses.  In fact, I wish he wouldn’t.